Newton's son...

Was rapping too loudly. I couldn't tolerate it, so I terminated him.

High school test scores

Are now retrogrades

Everyone has problems...

Why are we picking on Lambert?

The length of time it takes gum to lose its flavor

Is called the orbit period.

Theta

Here we see a theta in its natural habitat. Somehow it manages to be both a common orbital element and a true anomaly.

If you are charged based on time in orbit...

Do you pay a TOF-FEE?

What do you call the angel on your shoulder?

The angel of inclination.

Yo mamma so big...

When people do orbital calculations about her they assume she's circular

Guess what happened at the Denver airport?

I had to do a plane change maneuver.

I used to be edgy,

But it was just a phasing maneuver.

Who needs a boyfriend?

When you can get a Hohman.

After the anti- bullying campaign,

Bullies became a mean anomaly.

What is the semi major axis?

The largest axle on a truck.

Back in my day,

When you wanted to get a new app, you had to wait in an apse line.

Who is the best singer?

Katy Periapse